PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
