Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
