I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
