What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
