Bisexual people are plain selfish.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
