Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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