I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize
