her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
