I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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