Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
