Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
This house was built for laser tag.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
