How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
