I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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