if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
