I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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