The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
