Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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