Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
