I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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