you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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