Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Are we still banned from the library?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
