This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
