Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
