when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
