im so drunk with asians
where?
always
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize