ugly people sure do ruin things
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
