sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
