That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
