And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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