Plan B is the new Plan A
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
