I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
