Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
