Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My pussy is not your playground.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
