I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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