Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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