So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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