i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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