i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
