That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
