Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
