official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
