im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
