on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
