chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
