I must be too annoying 4 u.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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