I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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