I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
