so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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