I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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