Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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