I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
