if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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