i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
