I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize