mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So apparently I’m into choking now
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