did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize