Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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