So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
