I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
