she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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