is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
