Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
