i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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