Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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