I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
