I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
