it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize
