erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
