YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Couch. On fire.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
