and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
