And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize