Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
