i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Use "feeling words"
Yay
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
