tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
not ubering you a puppy
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
