Porn is love you can see.
Duck Duck Cougar?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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